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Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
blah blah blah Resolutions blah blah blah Weight Loss
I wasn't going to mention this, at ALL. But who am I if not honest? Well, besides honest, I'm fat. (Also, I'm not always honest. It sucks sometimes.) It's true, though, about being fat. Kind friends will shake their heads and say "oh no... you look great, blah blah blah". All I hear is the 'blah blah blah'. This is what I know, I'm a good 30 lbs heavier than this one time when I felt great and people told me I looked great, and I figure I was a good 10 to 15 pounds heavier then than what I want. I also know my snoring can be confused with a chainsaw massacre, I was growing out of clothes at an alarming rate, and despite my seeming affection for carrying them around, quadruple chins aren't that hot.
So, I guess it was a "resolution" that I made this year. I haven't done that since the rousing success of 2005's, "I'm going to start drinking" resolution.
My resolution wasn't weight loss though. Oh, I totally expect it as a by-product, but I didn't say, "I want to lose 45 pounds this year." Nope, mine was to follow this Clean Eating meal plan indefinitely.
I'm overweight for one reason and one reason only. Wait, make that two reasons. The first is the 2005 resolution to drink. The second and biggest though is: My Relationship With Food. It is dysfunctional, to say the least.
The plan is pretty simple, and I've used it before. I just never stick with the dang thing. So, my resolve is to STICK TO THE PLAN.
I began tracking the days when I STUCK TO THE PLAN. I put a little asterisk on a calendar. This week, for some reason, I started weighing myself daily. I don't recommend it, but this week it's been fun. I've lost a pound a day so far.
The plan sounds hard but isn't at all. 5 meals a day, all healthy and as organic or "clean" as possible. I fudge a little on that because I seriuosly can't afford to buy strictly organic and grass-fed and free-range and all that.
I spend a fair amount of time on Sundays packing my lunches for the week. I pack them all up (1 lunch, a morning snack, an afternoon snack) and put them out in the spare fridge. when it's time to go to work in the morning I just grab one of them.
Before this, I had a candy bar every day at 3:00. It was an uncontrollable urge, and without it I'd get shaky and crabby. I also had this irregular heartbeat every once in awhile that would last just for a second or two but make me all dizzy. Oh, and the quadruple chins.
Now, I am never hungry, thanks to shoving food in my mouth every two hours throughout the day. I think that the heartbeat was related to sugar, so I haven't had any of that for awhile either. I still have the chins, but they'll disappear after another 10 days or so at this rate, I hope. I still snore too. But dang, I feel so much better by eating so much better.
I don't expect to continue losing at the rate of a pound a day. I think that's a function of being so heavy right now, but as I lose weight, it will start to come off more slowly. I don't care at what rate it comes off. I just want to keep on this Clean Eating plan and keep feeling good. (okay, so secretly I fantasize that this rate of weight loss would continue, at least for another month or so!)
So, I guess it was a "resolution" that I made this year. I haven't done that since the rousing success of 2005's, "I'm going to start drinking" resolution.
My resolution wasn't weight loss though. Oh, I totally expect it as a by-product, but I didn't say, "I want to lose 45 pounds this year." Nope, mine was to follow this Clean Eating meal plan indefinitely.
I'm overweight for one reason and one reason only. Wait, make that two reasons. The first is the 2005 resolution to drink. The second and biggest though is: My Relationship With Food. It is dysfunctional, to say the least.
The plan is pretty simple, and I've used it before. I just never stick with the dang thing. So, my resolve is to STICK TO THE PLAN.
I began tracking the days when I STUCK TO THE PLAN. I put a little asterisk on a calendar. This week, for some reason, I started weighing myself daily. I don't recommend it, but this week it's been fun. I've lost a pound a day so far.
The plan sounds hard but isn't at all. 5 meals a day, all healthy and as organic or "clean" as possible. I fudge a little on that because I seriuosly can't afford to buy strictly organic and grass-fed and free-range and all that.
I spend a fair amount of time on Sundays packing my lunches for the week. I pack them all up (1 lunch, a morning snack, an afternoon snack) and put them out in the spare fridge. when it's time to go to work in the morning I just grab one of them.
Before this, I had a candy bar every day at 3:00. It was an uncontrollable urge, and without it I'd get shaky and crabby. I also had this irregular heartbeat every once in awhile that would last just for a second or two but make me all dizzy. Oh, and the quadruple chins.
Now, I am never hungry, thanks to shoving food in my mouth every two hours throughout the day. I think that the heartbeat was related to sugar, so I haven't had any of that for awhile either. I still have the chins, but they'll disappear after another 10 days or so at this rate, I hope. I still snore too. But dang, I feel so much better by eating so much better.
I don't expect to continue losing at the rate of a pound a day. I think that's a function of being so heavy right now, but as I lose weight, it will start to come off more slowly. I don't care at what rate it comes off. I just want to keep on this Clean Eating plan and keep feeling good. (okay, so secretly I fantasize that this rate of weight loss would continue, at least for another month or so!)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Excuse Me, You Dropped a Testicle
Today my baby boy Axel was gelded. Can I just say, this little guy is the sweetest, softest, fuzziest, cutest little colt on the planet? I swear if I could fit him on my lap he'd be in the house, on my sofa all winter. He's about 7 months old and is a card-carrying member of the Love Bug club. Yet, I felt no guilt or remorse when the time came to geld him.
My vet came out. I'm really nervous around my equine vet. 1.) I practically idolize him. He is just so awesome with horses and so knowledgeable. 2.) I feel most of the time that I'm a really lousy horse-keeper and he's looking at me thinking, "what.... the.... hell...?" When you add 1 and 2, you get: "Help I'm Talking and I Can't Shut Up" Teresa. It's what I do when I'm nervous and intimidated. I just blab my way out of it. By "out of it" I mean that I confirm to the other party that they want nothing to do with me, ever.
So Andy came out, we knocked poor Axel out, and I stood there holding one of his ropes and blabbing non-stop while Andy reefed each of Axel's teeny tiny testes out and cut them off.
Andy and JJ got everything cleaned up and we were walking out of the round pen and a blob of something fell out of Andy's hand. I should've just picked it up and thrown it away, without saying anything. Even as the words bubbled to the surface and came out of my lips I knew it was a stupid-assed thing to say. This has never, ever, not even once, stopped me before. So I said, "Oops, you dropped a testicle!" and picked it up, shook the snow off it, and handed it to Andy. It's not that he's squeamish or anything, but do I really know him well enough to be talking testicles with him? Even if it is, in terms of ownership, MY testicle?
Not. Ladylike. AT ALL.
My vet came out. I'm really nervous around my equine vet. 1.) I practically idolize him. He is just so awesome with horses and so knowledgeable. 2.) I feel most of the time that I'm a really lousy horse-keeper and he's looking at me thinking, "what.... the.... hell...?" When you add 1 and 2, you get: "Help I'm Talking and I Can't Shut Up" Teresa. It's what I do when I'm nervous and intimidated. I just blab my way out of it. By "out of it" I mean that I confirm to the other party that they want nothing to do with me, ever.
So Andy came out, we knocked poor Axel out, and I stood there holding one of his ropes and blabbing non-stop while Andy reefed each of Axel's teeny tiny testes out and cut them off.
Andy and JJ got everything cleaned up and we were walking out of the round pen and a blob of something fell out of Andy's hand. I should've just picked it up and thrown it away, without saying anything. Even as the words bubbled to the surface and came out of my lips I knew it was a stupid-assed thing to say. This has never, ever, not even once, stopped me before. So I said, "Oops, you dropped a testicle!" and picked it up, shook the snow off it, and handed it to Andy. It's not that he's squeamish or anything, but do I really know him well enough to be talking testicles with him? Even if it is, in terms of ownership, MY testicle?
Not. Ladylike. AT ALL.
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